When I was twelve years old, I went on a boating trip to a group of islands with three friends and our dads. A friend of mine dared me to race along the shoreline with her. I, of course, said yes even though I was wearing impractical shoes and several of the rocks were slippery and wet (bravado was more admired than sense in my group of friends). We ran, skipped and jumped as fast as we could along the shore, seeing who could reach around the island first. I like to believe I was leading when I slipped and fell face first onto a rock. I expected pain, but felt only adrenaline. Pieces of white were scattered across the rock. I couldn’t breathe. Slowly, I raised my hand to my teeth. They felt sharp, and crooked: my right front tooth was broken and gone.
My friend ran and got my dad while I hyperventilated. We took the boat back immediately and he called the dentist on the way. The perks of living in a small town: everyone knows each other. The office was closed on Sundays, but he came in anyway. I don’t remember the boat ride or the drive to the dentist, I only remember thinking that my face was ruined. I would never be pretty.
But before the dentist filed down my jagged tooth and fastened plastic on top, my father asked him if, since he was fixing my teeth anyway, he couldn’t file down a bit on my other front tooth as well. Make them more even, he said. The dentist agreed and I ended up with smaller and prettier teeth than before the accident. While the dentist worked, I thought to myself that every cloud has a silver lining. I might have lost a tooth, but I ended up with a better smile.
And that is why I don’t believe for a second the reaction of the main character in Bionic Woman. When she learns that she’s lost both legs, an arm, an eye and an ear in a car crash and that they’ve replaced her limbs with super strong, rapid-healing, awesome-sauce pieces, her reaction should not be: “What have you done to me? Why did you do this to me? *tears* *angst* ” It should be something along the lines of: “Oh. Well, thanks, I guess. So, how strong did you say I was gonna get?” I mean, come on lady, your glass is definitely half-full.
Am I completely off-base here? How would you react to losing your limbs, but getting bionic superpower limbs instead?