nascentnovelist

June 13, 2011

The hook, the pitch and the query

Filed under: Uncategorized — nascentnovelist @ 1:13 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I’m currently struggling with getting my query letter ready. I was wondering if you’d be willing to give me a few pointers on my description of the story?

It’s supposed to be short and compelling so I’ve decided to tell the story from one POV only, and instead mention that I have several at the end. What do you think?

A PROMISE OF VIOLENCE:
For the first time in eight months, Allie kicked aside the throw-rug, revealing the closed hatch. She grabbed the lever with both hands and dragged. The floorboards groaned as the trap door opened, revealing a doorway to the darkness below London. A network of short-cuts that few knew about and even fewer could navigate. She took a deep breath and braced for the journey.

Allie Jones is a Walker, a human with Fae blood running through their veins who can open shortcuts in reality. On orders from her father, King of the half-breeds, she shadows Charlie Mains, who at first seems nothing more than a laid-off programmer from Westham. But tailing Charlie uncovers more than her father bargained for, and soon, Allie is caught up in a plot to overthrow the queen of all Fae, and change the world forever.

A Promise of Violence is a 92000 word urban fantasy novel about choices, growing up and sacrifice. Available upon request.

2 Comments »

  1. Hi my dear! Twasadark here. Let’s see, I like the snippet you’ve chosen here and the description as well – very interesting and intriguing. You do have a few grammar/capitalization problems, though. Here are the fixes:

    For the first time in eight months, Allie kicked aside the throw rug, revealing the closed hatch. She grabbed the lever with both hands and dragged. The floorboards groaned as the trap door opened, revealing a doorway to the darkness below London. A network of shortcuts that few knew about and even fewer could navigate. She took a deep breath and braced for the journey.

    Allie Jones is a Walker, a human with Fae blood running through her veins who can open shortcuts in reality. On orders from her father, king of the half-breeds, she shadows Charlie Mains, who at first seems nothing more than a laid-off programmer from Westham. But tailing Charlie uncovers more than her father bargained for, and soon, Allie is caught up in a plot to overthrow the queen of all Fae, and change the world forever.

    A Promise of Violence is a 92,000 word urban fantasy novel about choices, growing up and sacrifice. Available upon request.

    Comment by Xina Uhl — June 13, 2011 @ 11:47 pm | Reply

    • Thanks! Did it make you want to read more? And do you think I should mention that the book has four pov’s?

      Comment by nascentnovelist — June 14, 2011 @ 10:38 am | Reply


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